March 3 – 12:45 AM
A tornado passed through Nashville, just a few blocks away from our house, ripping open our back gate and devastating thousands of families throughout the city. We were so incredibly lucky to have only lost power, internet, and nothing more. Despite the emotional night, I went to work the next day with Dennis to start working on shows for 2020. This was an optimistic meeting, since I was not sure of my diagnosis, was not sure what the solution would be and when I could work an event again.
March 3 – 11:30 AM
I received the call from the Mayo Clinic that I had been anxiously awaiting. The Doctor was sweet on the phone (Dr. Alexandra Higgins / Hematology), wished we could meet in person and she got right to the point. The biopsy results came back, and the mass was a malignant Thymoma, which was a cancerous tumor of the thymus gland. Normally, the thymus gland is highly active when you are young, and plays an important function in the immune system and endocrine system. As you get older, it gets smaller until you do not need it anymore. Mine was doing the opposite. 1 in 1.5 million people will develop a Thymoma and I was that lucky 1. Which means only 400 people per year in the US are diagnosed with this. This meant I needed to have surgery to remove it before it grew any larger. Jim and I debated having the surgery in Tennessee or traveling back to Mayo, but after much consideration, we had to stick with the Mayo Clinic. They diagnosed it and they have much more experience with this, especially since it is such a rare diagnosis.
I was scheduled to meet with the surgeon on March 23rd and was to have surgery that week. They would need to do a sternotomy, due to the size of the mass, in an attempt to get it all with clean margins, so I could avoid having chemo or radiation. I booked our flights, housing, rental car, etc. in preparation for our trip back to Minnesota.
I do not believe I can accurately describe my emotions at this time. I had cancer. I was relieved to finally have an answer. I was not crazy. It was not in my head. It was not allergies. It was not anxiety. It was not because I was out of shape. I did not need to talk to a therapist. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off me. Then it started to set in. I had cancer. But the doctors at Mayo were confident that they could get it all. We had caught it in time! Even though it had doubled in size, it had not yet grown in to to my heart or lungs, so I was lucky and we finally had a plan of action. There was finally hope for the future! There was hope that I would feel better soon and we had a date set! Fifteen months later and I had an answer and a plan!
March 16
I received another call from the Mayo Clinic with bad news. As with almost everything I encountered on my journey, this would not be as easy as expected. This is the week the Corona Virus started ramping up and unfortunately, they needed to post-pone my surgery…
Talk about a gut punch. Finally, when we thought we were nearing the end, the light got pushed further away. The doctors were optimistic that they would be able to re-schedule in the coming weeks and that they would be able to remove the tumor before it spread any more. Jim and I were obviously nervous about the tumor spreading, especially since it had literally doubled its size in seven months, but we had to trust in the doctors and pray that the corona virus would slow down as soon as possible. The following days and weeks were torture. Everyday hoping for a call from the doctor with a new surgery date, and everyday seeing that the corona virus is only getting worse and spreading like nothing we have ever seen before.
I called my Mom and told her that it would be roughly eight weeks before I would go back to the Mayo Clinic. March 17th, she could not help herself, she googled numbers and departments at the Mayo Clinic and called patient services. She spoke with a very competent lady, who looked up my information. She allowed Mom to explain her concern about my tumor doubling in size in seven months and waiting two more months could be detrimental to me. She also explained that now would be a good time to fly since planes would have less people on them. Mom asked that she contact the Doctors and ask them to please take another look at my situation.
March 19
This was Jim’s last day at his job, as employees were furloughed due to the virus. I also received a call from the Mayo Clinic saying that they would work to get me in as soon as possible. I found out later that my Mom had called and made that happen! She is amazing.
March 23
When I went in for my biopsy at the Mayo Clinic, they asked me for a copy of my Advanced Directive or Living Will. At the time, I did not have one. Anyone that has seen Grey’s Anatomy knows that anything could happen in surgery, so it is best to be prepared. I went ahead and got an Advance Care Plan document online. I used a simple website called Rocket Lawyer, to prepare the document. I was able to decide who would make decisions for me if I was unable to make my own decisions and also, what measures I would like taken if something did go wrong.
Being 30 years old, this was a terrifying thing to think about. I did not think I would be filling out something like this until much later in my life. Just another step in this long process making me stronger and more prepared for the future. Once it was complete and my witnesses signed it, it was a relief to know that my wishes were documented and that I had one less thing to worry about.
April 6
I called Mayo to check in and was able to get a video chat scheduled for April 21st with the Surgeon. We still were unable to schedule surgery, but at least I had something to look forward too and we were taking a step forward.
April 21
April 21st was nine weeks since my last Chest CT and my growing tumor is on my mind. The Surgeon (Dr. Janani S. Reisenauer) called me and she was wonderful. She went over the biopsy, explained her plan of doing the sternotomy to give us the best chance to see everything, especially since it had been growing, and asked if I could get to Minnesota that next Monday. I said YES and was so excited… here we go again, let’s do this! After the initial excitement, the reality set in and I felt sick to my stomach. Next week I was going to MN, to get my chest cracked open and to have this tumor removed. As if that thought was not scary enough, due to the corona virus, I learned that I would have to do it alone. No one could join me in the hospital once I was admitted, for every one’s safety.