Waking up this New Years Eve, I realize that this is the first New Years Eve in 10+ years that I haven’t been working an event or singing at a party. 2020 has taken so much from so many of us, so I want to spend this time recapping this year and focus on the light that has come from the dark.
January 2020 I was terrified. I had been to 15+ Doctors, had been told I was crazy, fat and just had allergies…. meanwhile I could not do a load of laundry and sitting down my heart rate was 130+. Thankfully I was able to get into the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota and those Doctors were intelligent and determined to figure out the cause of my symptoms. I saw another 10 Doctors, re-ran countless tests and finally was approved for the test that ultimately showed the large active mass in my chest. I remember receiving the call March 3rd after returning home for the Mayo Clinic, I was working at Dennis’ house on future events (what a dream) and they called and informed me that the mass in my chest was cancer and we needed to operate immediately. I was frightened but honestly more relieved to finally have an answer, to know that I was not crazy and there was indeed something wrong… and even better, that it could be fixed!
Flash forward to the surgery being post-poned due to covid, the live events industry shutting down and then finally heading back out to Minnesota at the end of April to go in for surgery. I still have chills throughout my body when I think about the morning of my surgery. Of leaving Jim in the lobby and heading upstairs with the nurse. I texted my Mom, Jim and my friends one last text, put away my belongings and was rolled into the operating room. I have never been so scared in my life. Thankfully the surgeon was amazing, she got the entire mass, left a beautiful incision and after surgery informed me that is was NOT CANCER after all! What a blessing!
Over the past two years, as I continued to get more and more sick, I was most worried about missing events due to my illness. In a weird silver lining, this year the live events industry shut down and while I absolutely hate this for everyone and desperately want it to come back ASAP, I ended up not missing any events during my recovery because there just wasn’t any. I am so thankful to have had the summer and fall to recover and for all of the amazing organizations that created covid relief funds, all the people that reached out and the unemployment that for the first time in my life, an independent contractor could actually receive.
In search for the reason why I grew an iPhone 12 size tumor in my chest, I made the first step towards taking care of my mental health in August. I started seeing a therapist here in Nashville and it has changed my life. She opened my eyes to so many tools and resources that are out there. I am obsessed with the ACE study, which I believe might have had something to do with my diagnoses. I have joined an organization which helps heal past traumas and I have noticed that I am feeling more confident and am able to communicate better with friends, family and Jim. I highly recommend talking to someone. Having that sounding board can be so insightful and encouraging. I see Lea Voigt and she is amazing. ♥️
As we started in to the fall, my unemployment ran out, the relief funds were maxed out and I was starting to feel better physically but was still not strong enough to work outside my home. Even still, I am 34 Weeks Post-op, I am still sleeping with pillow wedges in bed because I can’t lean on my side, and I don’t feel safe outside of my home due to the outrageously high covid numbers that we are still seeing. I spent 3 months applying to job after job, but as many of you know now…. most employers don’t understand what it means to work in events. They can’t even comprehend the wide spectrum of responsibilities that one takes on when managing an event, from talent to transportation to staffing to health, safety and more. I kept getting turned down, day after day, not qualified, even for jobs such as driving for post-mates. I can’t even explain the weight I was feeling at this point.
But then I applied to American Income Life, which is one of the top Life Insurance companies in the country. Now… you know it’s 2020 when you see me, Kristen Moser, DGA Stage Manager, Freelance Event Manager for over 15 years….selling insurance. What?! I know, I know, but honestly it has been so nice to have a new opportunity that I can do from the safety of my home! It was a long and trying road to get here, lots of studying, multiple exams, and presentations, but I officially started December 4, 2020 and I am loving the unlimited opportunities. If you are like me, and are looking for a work from home opportunity, let me know. I can recommend people and am actually about to start training to be a manager, so I can bring you on to my team!
As absolutely unbearable as 2020 has been, I can be thankful for many things. I am so incredibly thankful to be ALIVE! I am a survivor and I feel strong in that I beat this 1 in 1.5 million diagnosis and am ready to take on the world. I am so thankful for Lea, the ACE Study and the ACA program for helping me learn and focus in on who I am. I am so thankful for the Marco Polo App and how much closer I have been able to get to my best friends, Leigh, Sarah, Cassie and Lindsay. I have loved having Dan as a roommate for 5 years, but this fall he moved out to Colorado, so Jim and I have had the place to ourselves for the first time, and it has been absolutely wonderful. I am thankful for the work from home opportunity that I have which makes life feel a little more stable. I am thankful for my Mom, who I haven’t seen since all of this started due to Covid, but who still checks in on my daily. I am thankful for my wonderful puppies who cuddle with me. And last but not least, I am thankful for YOU! Thank you for taking the time to read my story, for following my instagram and for sending me feedback and sharing bits of your journey as well.
We have all been through so much and today marks the last day of 2020. WE MADE IT! This year has made us all become stronger than we ever knew possible. 2021 is our year and nothing can stop us now!
Love reading your insights, my friend. Glad that there were so many inspirational positives in 2020. Here is to so much more health, happiness, and success in 2021. All the best and Happy New Year.